Have you ever had one of those days, one of those months, or even one of those years? You know, the ones marked by storm, chaos, and general life-ruin beyond what you thought you could ever handle? Trust me when I say I feel you.. I don’t know what you have been through or are currently going through but what I do know is that life isn’t easy. The older I get the more complicated it gets. Through my toughest times the main realization that I keep going back to is that I absolutely can’t do it alone. 

Never, in my wildest dreams, could I have predicted the whirlwind that one year could bring. I experienced the most heart wrenching break up of my life along with a complete career meltdown. I made a best friend and lost a better friend. I started volunteering in my community and recommitted to my purity. I was rejected in my job search by five different companies, subject to three different break-ins and thousands of dollars in theft. It was the most horribly torturous and graciously hope-filled year of my life. I’m definitely not through the woods but I am stronger than I ever thought that I could be. What sooths that deep pain that I experienced time and time again is looking back at who I used to be; recognizing all that Christ has brought me through, moreover who He has helped me become. At the end of the day I know life isn’t perfect and I know there will be trials ahead, but I am already looking forward with expectation of good. Despite what I can see and what is happening to me. I can and do have a choice. I can choose what I do with the pain. I can choose to depend on my Savior and community. I can choose to praise the one who gave me life from day one. I can and will choose joy because I know I have a purpose here on earth and I know that as long as I am still alive God wants me to be relentlessly pursuing Him as well as that purpose.  

This blog began as therapy; it has become a means of working through what I so often feel. When every one of these trials hit I processed. I processed with Christ, my family and my incredible friends. I would read, listen, and seek to understand. Still, there was always a point where I just needed space. I needed space to be, breathe and listen to God’s voice. When I don’t know what to do or how something is possibly going to be ok again, I pray, release and write.  

Shelby RobbinsComment