HOW GOD USED PAIN TO LEAD ME TO BLOGGING AND BLOGGING TO LEAD ME TO COMMUNITY
Have you ever had one of those days, one of those months, or even one of those years? You know, the ones marked by storm, chaos, and general life-ruin beyond what you thought you could ever handle? Trust me when I say I feel you.. I don’t know what you have been through or are currently going through but what I do know is that life isn’t easy. The older I get the more complicated it gets. Through my toughest times the main realization that I keep going back to is that I absolutely can’t do it alone.
Never, in my wildest dreams, could I have predicted the whirlwind that one year could bring. I experienced the most heart wrenching break up of my life along with a complete career meltdown. I made a best friend and lost a better friend. I started volunteering in my community and recommitted to my purity. I was rejected in my job search by five different companies, subject to three different break-ins and thousands of dollars in theft. It was the most horribly torturous and graciously hope-filled year of my life. I’m definitely not through the woods but I am stronger than I ever thought that I could be. What sooths that deep pain that I experienced time and time again is looking back at who I used to be; recognizing all that Christ has brought me through, moreover who He has helped me become. At the end of the day I know life isn’t perfect and I know there will be trials ahead, but I am already looking forward with expectation of good. Despite what I can see and what is happening to me. I can and do have a choice. I can choose what I do with the pain. I can choose to depend on my Savior and community. I can choose to praise the one who gave me life from day one. I can and will choose joy because I know I have a purpose here on earth and I know that as long as I am still alive God wants me to be relentlessly pursuing Him as well as that purpose.
This blog began as therapy; it has become a means of working through what I so often feel. When every one of these trials hit I processed. I processed with Christ, my family and my incredible friends. I would read, listen, and seek to understand. Still, there was always a point where I just needed space. I needed space to be, breathe and listen to God’s voice. When I don’t know what to do or how something is possibly going to be ok again, I pray, release and write.