You and I have been set apart for the one, not aside by the wrong ones.

By the way, I qualify the one as God’s best for you and anything other than that as the wrong one. No matter what culture, friends or men tell you please never believe anything that challenges that truth. I thank God for His intervention, He saved me from the wrong men that I undoubtedly wanted to be with time and time again.

Below is a reflection of my personal experiences in dating the wrong men. I have dated men that say they are Christians and aren’t following Jesus and others that didn’t even pretend to be interested in my Savior.


Eventually God brought be to relational rock bottom. He showed me that I was only hurting myself and stifling my own future by dating these men. In doing what I thought seemed right I was breaking my own heart. We all have to start somewhere and in my journey it was drawing a hard line in the sand. I needed to identify what I could not and would not accept in my future relationships. I had to begin guarding my heart.


After I drew that line, Jesus was able to go to work within me. He healed me from seeing all men like this. He dove into every one of these lies that the enemy sold me in past relationships. He revealed that these men didn’t hurt me because they didn’t care for me, they were just broken themselves. They didn’t know how to truly love like Jesus does and honestly, neither did I at that point. Slowly but surely I was able to relearn what true love was. I learn that it cast out all fear, including everything I feared below. Over time I was able to get perspective and remember that I am whole in Christ and Him alone. I am able to love because He first loved me and if everyone fails me here on earth, He won’t.

Wherever you are on the dating spectrum, I think it’s safe to say many of us have dated men that weren’t right for us. While no man is perfect, the one that God has handpicked for you will be so in love with Jesus that these behaviors and attitudes will never rule his heart. There simply won’t be room. In fact, He will so cherish you that if he did hurt you, it would devastate him.


As women we have such power in knowing who we are and then waiting on the right man to recognize that. We are made to be pursued and set high standards for our men to achieve.


If nothing else, I hope you know that whatever your list entails, all the hurt that relationships have left you with, that is not the truth about all men. The below, or your personal list, could be a prayer to remember that we won’t believe these lies. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to mold our minds to be hopeful about men and our future with or without them. Together, you and I can dare to trust that we serve a good God with a plan to bless us so let’s not settle for anything less than His best for us.

My Mr. Wrong, in a pretty little nutshell:

He will lie to you

He will steal your love instead of earning it

He will pursue you before Jesus

He says the right things but doesn’t follow through

He can make you feel unworthy of selfless love

He distracts you from Jesus instead of drawing you closer to Him

He consistently makes you feel insecure

He tempts you to settle

He asks you to compromise your standards instead respecting them

He will pursue your body over your heart

He pressures to take your purity instead of protecting it

He speaks and acts from a place of bitterness, not love

He gives up – on himself, you and the relationship

He doesn’t intentionally pursue you

He abuses your emotions

He is jealous and controlling

He chooses his wants over your needs

He has no problem deceiving your trusting heart

He chooses to be stubborn instead of compromising

He chooses division over unity in your relationship

He fights you instead of the enemy

He will use you and leave

He can and will break your heart

Has a wandering eye – or two

Despite all of these be careful, Mr. Wrong often looks a lot like Mr. Right in the beginning.

Shelby RobbinsComment